Healing after a traumatic experience, especially one as deeply wounding as sexual assault, is undeniably a complex and personal journey. It's a path lined with pain, unfairness, and the heavy weight of something that should never have happened.

Yet, within this journey lies a profound truth: healing, though influenced by external support, is ultimately a responsibility that rests with you, to acknowledge your struggle and become empowered with the understanding that while the trauma was not your fault, the path to healing is your own to take.

The initial steps of healing 

The initial steps of healing can often feel the most daunting. Acknowledging the pain and the injustice of what happened is critical. It's important to validate these feelings; what happened was wrong, it wasn't your fault, and it's absolutely unfair. However, there comes a point in the journey where looking forward becomes essential. This doesn’t diminish the impact of what occurred or who was at fault. It is about reclaiming your power and control over your life.

Understanding that the responsibility of healing lies with you doesn’t have to be burden it can be an empowering realisation. It means that you have the ultimate say in how you rebuild and reshape your life after this trauma. It's about making a conscious decision to take the steps and do ‘the work’ – the process of healing, however that looks for you.

This could be finding the right therapist or counselor who understands and supports your unique needs. Or maybe exploring different healing modalities until you find the one that resonates with you. Remember, healing is not a linear process, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is persistence and the determination not to give up on yourself, even when it feels overwhelming, there is no timescale or deadline, you are in control.

While the assault was a traumatic chapter in your life, it doesn't have to define your entire story. The resilience to move forward lies within you. Each step you take in healing is a testament to your strength and a rejection of giving the perpetrator any more power over your life. Healing is your journey, a path that you navigate and direct. In this process, you'll find not just recovery, but a deeper understanding and love for the incredible person you are.

Embrace the role of being your own healer

Embracing the role of being your own healer is both powerful and transformative. It involves an inward journey of understanding, acknowledging, and gradually shifting the narratives that have been imposed on you by your trauma. This journey is deeply personal, and it might sometimes feel like navigating through a maze without a map. But remember, every small step you take is a stride towards a horizon of hope and renewal.

Part of this journey is about creating a space where healing can occur; setting boundaries that protect your mental and emotional well-being, choosing environments and relationships that nurture and support you, and allowing yourself to feel and process emotions that you might have been avoiding. Healing requires an environment where you can be vulnerable, yet safe; where your emotions are validated, and your pace is respected.

It's also about acknowledging that healing can sometimes be two steps forward and one step back. There will be days filled with progress and days where the weight of your trauma feels all too heavy. On these days, remember that it's okay to pause, to breathe, and to take care of yourself. Self-care is not a luxury; it's a fundamental part of the healing process.

Finding your path to healing

As you embark on this path, it’s vital to surround yourself with a support system that can hold space for you – people who listen, offer a shoulder, and respect your journey. Whether it’s friends, family, support groups, or mental health professionals, these relationships can offer external perspectives and remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Moreover, healing is also about relearning trust – trust in yourself, in others, and in the world around you. The betrayal and violation of trauma can shatter this trust, making it one of the hardest things to rebuild. Yet, it’s also one of the most rewarding. As you slowly rebuild this trust, you’ll find new strengths and facets of yourself that perhaps you didn’t know existed.

Resilience and moving forward

An essential part of taking responsibility for your healing is to acknowledge that while the trauma was not your choice, your response to it is. This doesn’t mean that the journey is easy or that the responsibility is fair. But it’s empowering to know that you have control over how you respond to what happened. You have the strength and resilience within you to write the next chapters of your life.

In the grand narrative of your life, being a survivor is one part of your story. It’s a part that speaks to your strength, your capacity to endure, and your ability to grow through adversity. As you continue to heal, you’ll discover that this journey, as challenging as it is, can also lead to profound personal growth, self-discovery, and an unshakable sense of self.

The responsibility of healing is undeniably a tough one, but it’s also filled with the potential for growth and transformation. Remember, healing is not a straight path; it’s a journey with its unique ups and downs. As a survivor, you have already shown immense courage and strength. Now, as you take responsibility for your healing, you open yourself to the possibility of a life defined not by what happened to you, but by the incredible person you continue to become.

In embracing this journey, you reclaim your power, you redefine your story, and most importantly, you affirm to yourself and the world that you are more than a survivor – you are a thriver.