It sometimes feels like the world glorifies productivity and praises “pushing through,” so choosing to rest can feel almost shameful. Survivors of trauma, who have spent so much time surviving, coping, adapting – the idea of rest can feel uncomfortable, or even unsafe. But rest isn’t laziness. It isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary. And it’s powerful.

Rest is a radical act of self-care. It says: My worth is not tied to what I produce. It gently defies the pressure to always be “doing” and offers something much deeper: space to breathe, space to feel, and space to heal.

Many survivors have learned to keep going at all costs. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “If I stop, everything will fall apart,” or “There’s no time to slow down.” This mindset, while understandable, can quietly become another form of survival mode – one that keeps your body tense and your mind on alert. But healing doesn’t happen in a state of urgency. Healing requires softness, quiet, and safety.

Rest is not the opposite of healing. It is healing.

The Science of Rest and the Nervous System

When you’ve lived through trauma, your nervous system learns to stay ready – to anticipate danger, to stay alert. This state is known as fight-or-flight. And while it kept you safe at the time, staying there long-term wears the body down. Rest allows your nervous system to shift into a calmer state – often called rest-and-digest. It lowers cortisol levels, regulates your heart rate, and tells your body it’s safe to exhale. It’s also essential for sleep, immune function, and even memory.

When you rest regularly, your brain begins to rewire itself for safety. This is called neuroplasticity. With time and consistency, those moments of calm begin to feel more familiar. Less threatening. More like home.

The Link Between Trauma and Burnout

Survivors are also particularly vulnerable to burnout. That constant emotional vigilance, the need to appear fine, the inner critic pushing you to keep up – it all adds up. Burnout isn’t just feeling tired. It’s emotional depletion. It’s feeling like even simple tasks take too much effort. And for survivors, burnout can feel like being pulled back into the fog of trauma.

Rest is what helps rebuild those inner reserves. It’s what keeps you from living in a state of constant depletion. It helps prevent the physical toll that long-term stress takes on your body and gives your mind space to recover.

So many women have been taught that rest is something you earn. That you have to tick every box, meet every need, help every person – then you can lie down. Maybe. If there’s time. But what if rest isn’t something you justify? What if it’s something you’re allowed to have, simply because you exist? You don’t have to reach breaking point to deserve care. You don’t need a crisis to grant yourself a break. Rest is not a reward. It’s part of being alive. It’s part of being well.

Simple Ways to Welcome Rest into Your Day

Rest doesn’t need to be big or perfect. It just needs to be intentional. Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

• Short pauses – Even a five-minute break to sit, breathe, or close your eyes can create space
• Restorative movement – Gentle yoga, stretching, or simply lying on the floor can tell your body it’s safe to release
• Technology breaks – Step away from screens, even briefly, to reconnect with your surroundings
• Evening rituals – A warm drink, a low light, a few pages of a book – signals to your body that it’s safe to let go
• Permission to do nothing – You don’t have to meditate, journal, or grow from it. Sometimes, the most healing thing is to simply rest without expectation

What Happens When We Rest

Rest can soften the edges of overwhelm. It can create space between thought and reaction. It can invite you back into your body, not as a place of fear, but as a place of comfort. Emotionally, rest builds self-compassion. It tells your nervous system that you are safe, that you are loved, and that your needs matter. With time, this helps reduce shame and quiet the voice that says, “You haven’t done enough.” And psychologically, rest allows for reflection. It opens up space for your thoughts to settle, for your memories to soften, and for your future to feel just a little more possible.

There is no perfect way to rest. You don’t need a full day off or a perfectly quiet room. You just need a moment. And another. And another. If you’re reading this and feeling like you can’t stop; like there’s too much to do, too many people to care for, consider this your permission. You are allowed to rest. You don’t have to wait until it’s urgent.

Your Turn

What’s one small way you can rest today?

Maybe it’s turning off your phone for ten minutes. Maybe it’s going to bed earlier. Maybe it’s simply not apologising for needing a moment. Rest isn’t a retreat from your healing journey. It’s the ground it grows from.

You’re allowed to stop. And you are most certainly allowed to rest.