As you navigate your healing, the idea of seeking support can feel both comforting and uncertain. You might be wondering who you can turn to, or how much you should ask of the people in your life. It’s important to remember that no single person is meant to meet all of your needs, and that’s okay. In fact, creating a network of support—your own village—can be an essential part of your journey.

The reality is, our needs are complex. We might need practical help, emotional support, or even someone to remind us of the lighter sides of life. You deserve a range of people who can show up for you in different ways. Healing isn’t something you have to do on your own, nor should it fall on one person’s shoulders. By defining the kinds of support that resonate with you, you can begin to intentionally seek out those who will stand by your side, each in their own unique way.

Gently Defining What You Need:

The first step in building this village is to allow yourself to explore what kind of support you need. And it’s okay to need different kinds of help for different aspects of your life. Take a moment to think about what would help ease the weight you’re carrying. Do you need someone who will listen to you and hold space for your pain without judgement? Maybe you need someone who can lift your spirits with laughter or help with the practicalities of day-to-day life. No matter what your needs are, they are valid, and you deserve to have them met.

If you’ve experienced sharing your story in the past and felt like it was too much for one person to handle, remember that it’s not your fault. Each of us is responsible for our own energy, and the beautiful thing about building a village of support is that no single person has to be everything for you. You can rely on different people for different things, and that's part of healing.

Sharing the Load with Different People:

Just as no one person can fulfil every need, you also don’t have to be everything for everyone else. Support works both ways, and being in relationships—whether friendships, family connections, or even professional relationships—means finding balance. Some people will be the ones you turn to when you need to talk about your emotions, while others might be there to help with practical tasks or to bring laughter and lightness into your day.

Your village can include many kinds of people, each playing their own unique role in your life. One friend might be the person you trust with your deepest emotions, while another might help you manage everyday challenges. You don’t have to lean on one person for everything, and in doing so, you allow everyone in your life to support you in the ways they’re best suited for.

And remember, support doesn’t always have to come in the form of a long conversation or deep emotional exchange. It might be a cup of tea with a neighbour, a text from someone you haven’t seen in a while, or the wisdom you find in a book or podcast. Some of the most valuable support can come from voices you’ve never met—through the pages of a book, or the words of someone who’s walked a similar path. Your village can be as wide and varied as you need it to be.

Building a Village that Suits You

The beauty of intentionally building a village of support is that you have the freedom to design it around your specific needs. You might start by considering the different areas in your life where you need support: emotional, practical, mental, physical, and spiritual. Each of these areas might call for a different kind of helper, and it’s perfectly okay to have separate people or resources to turn to for each one.

Perhaps you need someone to confide in emotionally—someone who can sit with you through your pain and simply hold space. This person might not be the same friend who helps with the practicalities of daily life, like a school run or grocery shopping. Both are equally important, but they serve different purposes.

And then, there’s professional support. Do you have the right healthcare team behind you? Beyond your GP, is there someone who understands your specific needs—whether it’s mental health, hormonal balance, or trauma-informed care? These professionals can be pillars in your village, offering specialised insight that not everyone in your personal life may have.

There’s also a vast array of support available to you beyond your immediate circle—voices in books, podcasts, or online communities. Even if you never meet these people in person, their words can offer tremendous comfort and guidance. You deserve to seek out whatever helps you feel supported and understood.

Define Your Needs, Then Seek the Right Support

Now that we’ve acknowledged the importance of having varied support, let’s take a moment to define what kind of support would feel most helpful for you right now. You don’t have to have it all figured out at once—just think about what you need today. It might be emotional support, practical assistance, or something entirely different, like someone who understands your spiritual journey.

Once you’ve defined your needs, begin thinking about who in your life could offer that specific type of support. Or, if no one comes to mind, where else could you seek it? Perhaps a therapist, a support group, or an author whose work resonates with your experiences.

Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to build your village. It’s about trusting yourself to know what you need and seeking it without hesitation or guilt.

Allowing Others to Support You

One of the hardest parts of asking for help can be the fear of burdening others. But leaning on your village doesn’t make you a burden—it makes you human. The people in your life who love and care for you want to support you, just as you would for them. The act of allowing others to be there for you is not only a form of self-compassion but also a way of deepening your connections.

Healing is a journey that doesn’t have to be walked alone. By allowing others into your world, you give them the chance to share in your experience, to help you carry the load, and to offer their unique gifts. And in doing so, you might find that your relationships grow stronger and more supportive in return.

It Takes a Village—Find Yours

As you continue to navigate your healing journey, remember that you don’t have to do it all on your own. Surrounding yourself with the right people, professionals, and even digital resources is not just helpful—it’s essential. Healing isn’t about carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but about knowing when and how to ask for help and who to ask.

Take the time to define what you need, whether it’s emotional support, practical help, or professional guidance. Then, intentionally build your village with the understanding that you’re worthy of the care and compassion you receive. By leaning on others, you allow yourself the space to heal, grow, and ultimately thrive. You deserve a village of support. So go ahead, seek it out, and embrace it with open arms.